


Podracing and Other Crimes

by helvel



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Multi, Poe Dameron: Galactic Pornstar, Sex Tapes, Xenophilia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-07
Updated: 2020-01-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:41:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22152697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/helvel/pseuds/helvel
Summary: With a groan, Finn buries his face in his hands. “At this point, Dameron, I don’t even want to know any of the other shifty stuff you’ve been up to.”“So you don’t want to see my vid on x-Holonet Hub?”
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Finn/Rey
Comments: 26
Kudos: 176





	Podracing and Other Crimes

**Author's Note:**

> For my beloved [Pizzzazlut](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pizzzazlut/pseuds/Pizzzazlut), who really deserves a medal for putting up with my talk about Poe fucking aliens <3

Poe opens the hatch of the caf maker and carefully moves the nozzle out of the way. Inside, he can just see the empty spot where the de-calcinator tablet dissolved. He slots the replacement tablet into place, closes the hatch, and watches the caf machine’s red warning light change to green.

Suspicious eyes watch him all the while.

“You learn how to do that while you were a spice runner?” Finn asks. 

“No,” Poe says, “I learned it from the instruction manual.” He places a mug onto the caf machine and flicks the switch. Caf dispenses, dark and piping hot, followed by a perfect swirl of whipped cream on top. 

Finn reaches for the mug. Poe slaps his hand away. The big, sad eyes that follow are so cute that Poe nearly gives in, but he doesn’t spend too long feeling bad about it, because a second later, Finn resumes his interrogation as he follows Poe’s caf delivery. 

“I’m onto you, Dameron. What other shifty stuff have you been up to that we don’t know about?” He’s tailing Poe so closely, they bump into each other when Poe stops at the garage. “Droid smuggling? Slicing? Podracing?”

Poe has to laugh at what Finn considers heinous crimes. “How is podracing part of that list?”

Finn’s eyes narrow. “So you’ve done it.”

With a shrug, Poe carefully steps over D-O and enters the garage. 

Ninety percent of an FX Super Glide speeder bike is propped up on repulsorlifts in the garage, with nothing but a pair of boots visible beneath it. Poe sets down the caf beside the boots. The rest of Rey slides out from under the bike on a trolley. “Thanks,” she says. After one big gulp of the caf, she disappears again with whipped cream on her nose. 

Grinning at Finn, Poe motions to the sight they just witnessed. “Rey is literally hotwiring a speeder right now and you’re accusing me of podracing?”

Rey immediately pops out again. “You’ve podraced?”

Excitement radiates off her so powerfully that Poe feels it as a physical thing, like bubbles popping all around him. Poe just has to stand there grinning for a moment. Finn seizes the opportunity and rounds on him with the question as well. “Yeah, Dameron,” he says pointedly, “have you podraced?”

They both watch him with full attention, which is pretty sexy if Poe is being honest.

“ _Well_ ,” Poe answers them, long and drawn out.

It’s all the answer they need. 

“I don’t believe it!” Finn groans, while Rey lets out an excited shriek. D-O lets out a squawk as well, mostly just to feel included. 

“But isn’t it outlawed?” 

Poe shrugs. “Sure. A lot of things are outlawed. That just means you need to know the right person to find them.”

“And you know this ‘ _right person_ ’, don’t you.”

“Oh, I know him alright. A friend of mine, a Nosaurian. I worked pit crew for him for a while, and I got to take the pod out for a few test drives.”

Rey is nearly vibrating by this point, radiating wonder like a signal tower. “What was it like?”

Poe winks at her. “I’ll show you sometime.”

With a groan, Finn buries his face in his hands. He’s softening a bit, though, taken in by Rey’s excitement, because it really is contagious. “At this point, Dameron, I don’t even want to know any of the other shifty stuff you’ve been up to.”

“So you don’t want to see my vid on x-Holonet Hub?”

The sound Finn makes is like a loth-cat being stepped on. He takes the smallest step backwards, eyes wide and darting away. Poe’s face breaks into a grin.

“ _Oh,_ ” he says, “You’ve already seen it.”

Finn is far too cute for someone who’s trying to slink away from the conversation unnoticed. Poe reaches for his hand, which Finn lets him take, despite looking like he wants the floor to open up and swallow him whole. 

“I…” Finn starts, voice hoarse. Poe squeezes his hand. “I didn’t know it was you at first. You look different in the vid.”

Rey’s mouth hangs open. “You mean there really is a vid?”

With an assuring smile at Finn and another squeeze of his hand, Poe turns to Rey.

“You want to see it?”

* * *

They settle in the main room on the couch, Rey in the middle with Poe and Finn on either side. Despite his hunched shoulders, Finn hasn't made any further complaints so far, and he’s watching the holoscreen as intently as Rey is. 

Poe brings up x-Holonet Hub. Just the homepage elicits a gasp. A naked and spread Twilek graces the banner image, which is almost tame by galactic standards, since naked Twileks are on basically everything from jewelry ads to cereal boxes. Poe scrolls past the vids in _Newest Uploads_ and _Rhodians_ and _Oviposition_ , down to _Most Popular - Interspecies_. 

He’s just a little proud to see that particular vid still in the number one spot:

_SEXY Human Male Cums From Getting His Hole Fingered By Horny Alien! !!HOT_

Rey gasps again. Finn swallows thickly and tugs at his collar. BB-8 activates the air conditioning in the room, sensing the rising heat levels radiating off all of them. 

“I hope you remembered to Like the video,” Poe says to Finn with a teasing grin, “Keeping that number one spot isn’t easy.”

“Uhh. Yeah,” Finn agrees. “I, I did like it. I liked it a lot.”

That's just too cute to resist. Poe leans across the couch behind Rey, tugging on Finn’s sleeve until he moves in for the kiss. The tiniest smile tugs up Finn’s lips when they part. Poe places a kiss on Rey’s cheek for good measure, but she barely notices. Her eyes are still fixed on the screen. The thumbnail of Poe’s vid - showing a familiar cock with an orange, four-fingered hand resting on his stomach - has her captivated. 

“Play it,” she says. 

The vid opens with a view of a bed, upon which our naked hero reclines and leisurely strokes himself. Poe was thinner then, barely twenty and lacking the muscle he has now, but the cocky grin is just the same. He rolls his head to the side, long curls falling over one shoulder, and that come-hither look… this vid earned its _Most Popular_ status for a reason.

There’s a sound from off camera and then Clegg enters the shot, climbing onto the bed and just watching Poe for a moment. The pose is deliberate and shows off the full breadth of the Nosaurian’s horns - Clegg always did like to put on a show. Hell, that was why this vid existed. Clegg leans down to kiss Poe, careful not to obscure any of the important bits. Then he lays one of his long-fingered hands over Poe’s chest, sliding down over smooth skin (Poe used to do a lot more shaving back then) to rest just above his cock.

The camera zooms in for a moment. There’s the thumbnail shot - and there are Clegg’s long fingers and bulbous knuckles. They’ve got condyloid joints, as Poe recalls. Poe in the vid is about to find out just what that means. 

Poe in real life glances over at the audience on the couch beside him. Rey, glowing with enthrallment, watches the screen with a hand over her mouth. Finn isn’t watching the screen at all. He’s transfixed by the way Rey’s fingers press against the soft skin of her lower lip.

Catching his eye across Rey’s shoulder, Poe grins. The guy has already seen the vid, so Poe will just have to give him a different kind of show. 

Rey only startles a bit when Poe places a hand on her waist, but she lets herself be pulled close against his chest. Arousal radiating off her body always feels amazing, warm and thick and syrupy. Poe closes his eyes to enjoy it just for a moment, before sliding both hands up to cup her breasts.

They’re small and pert against his palms, nipples pressing through the thin material of the grease-stained shirt she borrowed from... who? One of them, but Poe can’t remember at the moment. 

He looks to Finn again, who looks like he’s enjoying the show exactly as much as Poe hoped he would be. Eyes fixed on Finn, Poe kisses Rey’s neck and whispers in her ear. 

“Now pay attention to the vid, it’s really starting to get good.”

Clegg, indulgent as he is, has already got a finger inside Poe. Again the camera zooms in, focusing on the one big knuckle he’s carefully sliding in and out. As Poe recalls, that felt even better than it looks on camera, and on-screen Poe moans loud and wanton. 

Off-screen, Rey’s moan is not quite so theatrical, but it’s still completely beautiful as Finn slips down between her thighs to tug her leggings down. 

Clegg is really going at it now, pumping into Poe so hard that his cock twitches with every thrust. It’s been lying against his belly untouched since Clegg started fingering him, but the finale isn’t too far away, not with the way Clegg’s fingers could move. They bent back and forth in every direction, and were so long...

Rey’s moans jump in volume at the same time on-screen Poe’s do, and Poe grins over her shoulder as he watches Finn’s mouth work over her. No wonder she’s starting to lose it. Teeth grit and back arched, Rey squirms in his arms in just the perfect way that has her rubbing back against Poe’s stiffening cock in his trousers. He feels her tremble, before her whole body tenses - and pleasure ripples so powerfully through the air that Poe sees the blue lines of hyperspace for a moment.

Seconds later, on-screen Poe comes with a loud groan, cock still completely untouched until Clegg’s other hand reaches up to pump the last drops of come from him. With a cheeky grin at the camera from both of them, the vid ends and several ads about _Local Beings In Your Area_ appear. 

After a long silence filled only with their breathing, Poe asks, “So was that another Like for the vid?” 

Finn laughs, but Rey turns around, cheeks flushed and eyes curious. 

“I’ve never seen you come like that,” she says, “Just from being fingered?”

“I’m a man of many talents,” Poe brags. “But, I think that might have been a one time deal. Haven’t managed to do it since, anyway.” Truth be told, he hadn’t been expecting it with Clegg either, it just sort of happened. He looks between Rey and Finn, though, and grins. Oh, their eager faces are too much. He leans back with a deliberate stretch to put himself on display for them. “... But you’re welcome to try!” 

They pounce on him immediately, Finn pulling at his shirt while Rey tugs his trousers off. 

“If Mister What’s-His-Name in the vid can do it, so can I,” she insists. 

“Don’t want to - _ah,_ keep you from trying, but Mister Clegg Holdfast is a Nosaurian, with very flexible fingers.” 

Finn’s eyes narrow. “Tell me this isn’t the same Nosaurian you podraced with.”

Poe shrugs, which says about as much as he needs to. 

“I don’t believe it,” Finn grumbles.

Rey just laughs, resting her head against Poe’s knee as she trails her fingers up his thigh. “You know, I kind of want to meet this guy.”

“Racing pods, making sex vids...” Finn shakes his head even as he settles beside Poe on the couch to stroke a hand down his chest. “You were a scoundrel, Dameron. Still are.” Glancing over at BB-8, he raises an eyebrow. “Did you know about all the shifty stuff this guy has been up to?”

BB-8 beeps in response. Finn has slowly been getting better at understanding droidspeak, and after contemplating it for a moment, he nods.

“Oh, so you already knew him at the time when that vid was filmed.”

BB-8 beeps again, a more complicated phrase that leaves Finn puzzled, but Rey immediately gasps in shock.

“What do you mean, you were the one who filmed it?!”


End file.
